psa: you don't have to make it on your own, sis
literally no one else does
gratitude, fluidity, and the myth of “making it on your own”
as diouana women, we often find ourselves navigating the tension between where we are and where we want to be. it’s not always a straight path. there are detours, setbacks, and moments that leave us questioning everything. but if there’s one thing i’ve learned on this journey, it’s that fluidity is the secret ingredient to success and gratitude is its foundation.
in my last essay, i shared what it felt like to be “poor” at harvard. it wasn’t about the economic struggles (although those were real). it was about the anguish that came from the mental struggles. the hellspace that resulted as i became a shell of my former self due to my mistreatment. but here’s the truth i’ve learned since overcoming the fragility of my teenage brain, and no longer being afraid of my own shadow: no one makes it on their own. further, if progress is the true goal, we really shouldn’t be making it on our own.
what i mean by this is that we’ve all had people, whether it’s family, friends, or even strangers who’ve crossed our paths at just the right moment, help us along the way. we’re all a mosaic of the people and experiences that have shaped us. and that’s something to be grateful for. even if we insist on making it on our own.
the real work is internal
when we let go of the myth of "doing it alone," what remains is the deeper work: the work of showing up every day, not just for ourselves, but for the people who support us. the people who have a vested interest, either emotionally or financially, in seeing us succeed.
on this journey, we must be open to receiving help. because we understand that our biggest breakthroughs come from the most unexpected sources.
and most importantly, it’s about understanding that our true power lies in our ability to stay in harmony with our life as it unfolds.
rigid control will never get you to where you want to be. that’s a fact. you must have the courage to let go. and to trust that when the time is right, the pieces will fall into place.
so when life takes an unexpected turn, embrace it. sometimes the detour is exactly what you needed.
besides, we’ve all had our fair share of unexpected moments. moments that have led to unanticipated clarity of the reality of the situation. and it’s this clarity that allowed us to push forward.
one minute, you're at harvard wondering how your classmate got in (the dye always comes out in the wash as they say). the next minute, you’re in a quiet study room with their family name on the wall. and in all of this, you realize that maybe you don’t need to question how people got where they are. you just need to trust that everyone has their own journey, and it’s okay to be part of it. even if it’s as a beneficiary.
like i said, no one makes it on their own.
key takeaway this week: gratitude and flow lead to true success
no matter where you are on your journey right now, the help and the opportunities you need will come exactly when you need them. your sole job is keeping yourself together until they do.
just keep working toward your vision, stay open, and remain grateful for every step along the way. fluidity, harmony, and gratitude, these are the key’s to a diouana woman’s success.
oh, remain audacious in the face of adversity.
salon ii: situational awareness, patience, and playing the long game
our second salon is coming up on the 14th of december 2024. it’s scheduled for 12p est, and it’ll be hosted on a live online meeting platform. meeting link forthcoming.
the salon will focus on three overarching themes i believe are critical as you play the game of life and survive the shift that is the second (and true) trump age: situational awareness, patience, and playing the long game.
mastering these skills will be your ticket to thriving in a fast-paced, trumpian world. and to be honest, i actually don’t think trump should be our main focus. he’s the least of our problems. if we have any. but there’s a conversation for the salon…
you and i both know that we live in a culture that celebrates speed. but let’s be real, true growth takes time. true success is built slowly. one methodical decision after another.
i happen to find pleasure in the quiet refinement of one’s self into the exact image one wants to be. but i’m a woman deeply committed to my pleasure and bottom line.
during salon ii, we’ll discuss how to be strategic in a world that demands instant results. how we can create action plans tailored to our temperaments and talents. and most importantly, how we leverage the golden rule as we play the game. the golden rule that states that chaos is a ladder.
i also wanted to share a question i’ll be directly addressing during salon ii from one of the attendees of salon i, as it really speaks to the heart of what we’ll be covering:
“one of the biggest challenges i anticipate for 2025 is being flexible. i always have a certain way of interacting with people and environments, and it takes me a while to show up authentically and engage people in a way that helps me move closer to my goals. i’d love some clarity on ways to stay grounded and self-contented while being patient and persevering through challenges.”
this question really struck me because it’s so relatable. staying grounded, especially when everything feels uncertain, is haaaaaaard. it may take guts to go after what you want, but it takes being made of actual spartan steel to continue on, even when nothing seems to be working. or no one seemingly believes in you.
because you’re reading this, i’ll let you in on the beginning of my answer: your white whale is your relentless commitment to yourself. you must never give up on yourself.
i’ll divulge the full answer in salon ii. and as it’s an open invite to all diouana women in the realm, i hope you’ll find yourself there. and if you attend, you’ll also get the chance to ask your own questions and get clarity on whatever challenges you’re facing.
like i said, no one makes it on their own.
essays, now with a diouana woman’s voice
and lastly, i’m thrilled to share that my essays will soon have a new feature: author read-overs with a little commentary. maybe even additional context. after all, we didn’t fall out of a coconut tree!
or did we?
sweet dreams,
a diouana woman