it's not chic to self sabotage
it's time to trust your instincts
whenever i ask my closest friends a question of critical importance, one that has the potential to alter the course of my life, i ask for their opinion, with the following preface:
gut feelings only.
being a hyper-analytical, type-a thought daughter has its perks when it comes to publishing nightly essays for diouana women worldwide (manifesting as we speak), but it does become a hinderance in the game of life. the gamification of life is living life according to the stages typically found within a video game. stage number one: get acquainted with the storyline and the mission. stage number two: set out into the unknown for untold treasures, or to save the world. stage number three: face several setbacks but preserve through each one with the help of friends, or a trusted mentor. stage number four: fortify your strengths as you ascend each new level. the curious thing about the gamification of life is that it follows the same path to that of the heroine’s journey. it’s almost as if they’re one and the same…
the biggest cheat code to the game of life is getting out of your own way. my mother often speaks of protecting one’s self from spirits with evil intentions that roam around at night. but sometimes it’s not a question of spirituality, but self-sabotage. which, if severe enough, can be it’s own form of spiritual warfare. so, stay dangerous.
the beauty of the phrase “gut feelings only” is its simplicity. there is no analysis. no rumination. just instinct. no thoughts, just vibes. if you’re a woman like me, you could overthink yourself to death. the reason i haven’t yet is because i push myself to operate off of instinct. primal knowing of when to turn left, when to go right, and when to stand still.
the curious thing about the human spirit is that with enough stillness in our hearts and minds, the answers we search for night and day came to us in the nanoseconds between conscious thoughts. this is why she said calm energy grants your dreams. the clarity of a calm mind knows only solutions, never problems. seeks only results, never excuses.
i, for one, am not the biggest fan of the sisyphusification of our present social media-fueled self improvement culture. i am not that girl. i am a woman; a diouana woman at that. i understand how this might seem ironic, considering my advocacy for self-actualization, or what i call the pleasure-pain of becoming, but life is lived in irony. irony is distance. without it, nothing is funny because it’s simply too real, too close, too raw. irony allows for humor—dry, witty, or black.
similar to how irony gets us through the muck of it all, a mindset that follows my “gut feelings only” mantra allows for a decisiveness that is only appreciated by those who understand that success is just as much a question of luck as it is a mastery of execution. the instant you have an idea, and it seems net positive to your goals, you must follow it through to its realization. one of my favorite quotes that encapsulates this perfectly comes from euripides:
“the god of war hates those who hesitate.”
before we can even beginning showing up for ourselves to the point where we execute every single idea that we have, we first have to trust that our ideas are valid. there’s also the question of knowing which idea to follow. as it’s said, “you cannot serve two masters.” instead of following two good ideas, double down on one great idea. deep focus yields greater results, or so the gurus say.
the fabulous thing about life is that there are many ways to skin a cat. you often find successful people whose success boils down to their self-discipline, not necessarily their self-trust. yet success follows them. we, few but proud, diouana women understand that self-trust is a woman’s best friend. it’s what allows you to remove energy vampires from your life the moment you get the feeling you should. it’s what allows you to avoid that dark pathway when walking home because the whole thing just seems off. it’s what allows you to know if the man, or woman, sitting across from you is lying. you just feel it.
i challenge you to live your life with one hundred percent self-trust and follow through. what would you do if you executed all of your ideas to their zenith? if you followed yourself into the depths of your own dreams? if you lived and were reborn by the mantra, gut feelings only?
sweet dreams,
a diouana woman
p.s. truth or dare
i am beginning a new section in my nightly posts titled truth or dare. it’s a simple curated list of ideas and items i’ve engaged with today that i loved and am sharing with you. the truths were 10/10, so i must recommend. and the dares were not so great, so it’s me saying don’t do it. but only if you dare. get it? great. let’s begin:
truth: one hour long conversations with close friends.
truth: these metallic navy blue louboutins. if they were my size, it would be a full send.
dare: self doubt. obviously.