if you have to wait in line, you're in the wrong place
it was never that serious
patience is a virtue, but waiting in line is not. unless for essential items or emergencies, i don’t believe in waiting in line. this is a personality defect i’ve accepted.
but, really, is anything ever so serious (outside of those things that are serious) that we should wait in line for it? i am a big believer in energy and catching a vibe. as such, if you’re not on the same frequency, perhaps it’s not for you. after all, everything is not for everyone.
this lesson came to me as i made my way to new york’s club scene. admittedly, i do not go above 14th street for my haunts, so my perspective is rather limited. but here’s what i’ve learned in my silo: never, ever wait in line. exist, patiently. yes. but wait? darling, never.
it really is a simple lesson in energy. like attracts like. and you have to either match the energy of your desired location or already exist in that energy naturally. if not, you’re working for it. and honestly, when it comes to clubbing or going out, why would you sing for your dinner? where’s the fun in having to work to have fun? it should come naturally, or not at all. beauty may not be a zero sum game, but new york city nightlife definitely is.
my first summer here, a fellow analyst took me and a group of girls to acme. in the car over, she coached us: “when we get there, don’t say anything. just be hot. frankie will let us in.” frankie was so kind as to let us in. and afterwards i kept going back and back and back. each time, always hearing frankie say “one more” to the other bouncers. in this time, i learned a fundamental law of human nature: bouncers cannot relate to desperation. if they smell even a whiff of it, it’s to the bellows for you. so, you have to not care about actually getting in, even do you do. also, beggars cannot be be choosers. so bartering is off the table. understand that clubbing is a fundamentally unserious activity and arguing is a serious one. by definition, you are not aligned. in the immortal words of my favorite tik tok, “it was never that serious.”
there’s a simple trick to passing any club with a hard door in new york: dgaf.
be hot, sure. but more than your presentation, it’s your presence. presence will you get anywhere in life. as will luck, focus, audacity, and intelligent execution (maybe a trust fund, too!). but in the context of the unserious sport that is going out to have a great time, you truly have to choose to exist only in places meant for you. your vibe, your energy will attract your people, your tribe.
this is why you do not wait in line. in the context of clubbing, there’s weird sociological biases swirling in everyone’s heads and the bouncers are no exception. so if they make you wait in line it’s because they don’t think you’re part of the crowd they want inside. this is weird and laced with several isms, but these are not my establishments. i don’t make the rules. i just choose to follow my own. i do not wait in line.
i don’t go to clubs that will make me feel like i’m not good enough to get in. nor do i choose to exist in places that make me feel uncomfortable as a black woman. i’m out to have fun, and when was the last time racism was fun? for anyone involved?
my take is that when you show up, your people will be there. they’ll let you right in and you'll dance the night away with people who are even more of your people. if this is not the case, you’re in the wrong place. if so, maybe it’s time to go above 14th street.
just kidding. to brookyln we goooo.
sweet dreams,
a diouana woman
p.s. truth or dare
i am beginning a new section in my nightly posts titled truth or dare. it’s a simple curated list of ideas and items i’ve engaged with today that i loved and am sharing with you. the truths were 10/10, so i must recommend. and the dares were not so great, so it’s me saying don’t do it. but only if you dare. get it? great. let’s begin:
truth: this substack. the cultural analyzers are analyzing.
dare: going above 14th Street. i leave that to the murray hill finance bros.