when you're a woman too beautiful to work (hard)
the origins of a diouana woman
as a black woman, i’ve never questioned my beauty. this is radical in some milieus where black women are not placed in the middle of centerfolds or at the top of beauty standard. as a diouana woman, i prefer to create my own beauty standards. therefore, in my world, i am beautiful. i am black. these truths are not mutually exclusive. in fact, they are one and the same.
i do not take kindly to people who question the beauty of black women. even if they’re black and female themselves. the focus should always be on building ourselves up, instead of qualifying ourselves out of the race. in the game of life, to be a woman who wins is worth celebrating. to be a black women who wins is worth writing home about. but then again, it all depends on your definition of success. for some, it’s a sheryl-sandberg-lean-in-esque-coporate-career; for others, it’s existing for existence’s sake. this range is not diametrically opposed, per se, but they do require you to move in different energies in order to excel. the choice, as always, is yours. so, choose. and choose wisely.
when i look at the black women who came before me, i see a linage of women who have always worked. hard. and often to the point of exhaustion. this leaves little time for rest. precious time to be concerned with inching towards one’s actualized self. nothing to even be said about tending to one’s beauty. let alone, the project of creating one’s own beauty standard. work comes first. principally. and into perpetuity. this has always been the history of black women. however, i reject this historgraphy. if the past is anything to go by, there has to be a better future for black women. if not, i’ll create one by embodying what i believe black women deserve: rest, beauty, love, and luxury.
rest, beauty, love, and luxury all operate under the domain of the sacred whore archetype, thus i admire women who follow her narrative thread. women who exist how they’ve always wanted to be. women who have forged themselves from nothing, utilizing cunning and creativity. refined themselves into their dream women, not by right of birth but by right of conquest. women who where determined to become someone. after all, freedom, for women, is found in the process of being self-made. in the immortal words of a 90s vogue article, “girls who pay their rent do not have to play nice.”
i exist as a beautiful black women who pays her rent, tends to her beauty, and is principally concerned with her future. because of this, i do not have to play nice. and i often find that if i do not, i disappoint those who have projected a fantasy onto me. that of the cam girl of their dreams. too bad. i exist for my own fantasy before i do anyone else’s. my beauty, my rules.
i take my beauty inspiration from two sources: sacred whores and west african women. venusians, broadly speaking. even the title of this publication borrows from la noire de…(english: black girl), the 1966 film that was the first by an african filmmaker to be presented at cannes film festival. my affinity for la noire de centers on the main character, diouana. she’s a young woman who dreams of a cosmopolitan life in nice, far away from her beloved dakar. her aspirations are stifled when her french employers refuse to allow her to spread her wings. ultimately, she clips her own wings as a final means of taking back control.
in the creation of the term “diouana woman,” i seek to resurrect diouana and honor her female spirit of freedom-seeking, glamour-loving, intellectual sensuality that dreams of endless nights spent in the south of france with an emotionality that is deeply rooted in a west african aesthetic—combining an old world with an even older one.
this is my beauty manifesto as a black, west african woman. combining the best of both sides of the atlantic to cultivate a distinctly black, uniquely foreign, palpable essence that runs like a current in all that i do. allowing me to exist as myself, for myself. this is what i deserve as a black woman. on top of rest, beauty, love, and luxury.
as a diouana woman, you do too. go forth. create your own beauty manifesto.
sweet dreams,
a diouana woman
p.s. truth or dare
i am beginning a new section in my nightly posts titled truth or dare. it’s a simple curated list of ideas and items i’ve engaged with today that i loved and am sharing with you. the truths were 10/10, so i must recommend. and the dares were not so great, so it’s me saying don’t do it. but only if you dare. get it? great. let’s begin:
truth: hand painted ceramics, made with and for your loved ones.
dare: ruminating on an outfit choice. in the words of my bf, “you look great. promise.”