why are black women not allowed to be ugly?
no seriously, why are black women not allowed to be ugly?
beauty as prerequisite
it has long been established that society, and everyone in it, expects women to be beautiful. at all times, and in every way. there are a litany of industries that sustain their profit margins on this expectation. within these sectors, there are influencers, both on the creator and corporate side, who drive demand for associated products through solving one central problem for their majority female audience: how to become even more beautiful. even hotter. even cooler. better yet, appear even younger.
it’s a fine system. a highly profitable one. and, often, an exploitative one. even still, business is booming. and why shouldn’t it? after all, who doesn’t want to be hot, young, and beautiful?
that said, there’s one curious thing that has been gnawing at me. as i look out at the sea of internet it girls whose career kpis are based on my willingness to purchase every single item they recommend, i can’t help but think about the parasocial dynamic of it all.
one has to understand that influencers are either paid to promote, or gifted product with the understanding that if they like it, they’ll tell the town about it. and the town will quickly empty the shelves. it’s a beautiful industry for beautiful women. and herein arrives that curious thing i mentioned earlier.
if i follow countless women, with whom i feel an affinity towards, mainly because i want to be (like) them and the only way i’ll ever come close to being like them is buying what they buy. i am going to put it on my credit card and call it a day. this is where the questions around the consumerism surrounding online culture comes from.
but this isn't an essay about consumerism. we’ll save that for another night. this is an essay that seeks to point out an interesting truth: within this sea of internet it girls, why are the black woman not allowed to be ugly?
before we dive in, readers should be aware that i am the biggest advocate for creating one’s own beauty standard. meaning, if you feel that you do not live up to the prevailing notions of beauty, my advice will forever be to focus on creating your own beauty standard by hyper-fixating on the features you have that you love and tending to them the best way you can. sans filler. sans filter.
it sounds cheesy, but please let 26 year old kylie jenner crying to her sister about now finding herself existing outside of the beauty standard, despite having undergone countless surgical procedures roughly a decade ago as a teenager to fit into the then prevailing beauty standard, as your warning to accept your features for what they are: evidence that an ancestor who shared your face was favored and loved. after all, the passage of dna is a game of survival of the prettiest.
ugliness as status
beauty culture can be incredibly toxic and harmful to those easily overwhelmed by it’s requirements. jessica defino writes an excellent substack on this. as someone who does love beauty culture, precisely because i am committed to creating my own beauty standard as dark skin black woman, my question remains why are black women are not allowed to be ugly? better put, why are black women not allowed to thrive, become fabulously rich, and adored by all (including brands who pay $25,000 for a single brand deal) even if they exist outside of prevailing notions of beauty but their white counterparts can?
“why are black women not allowed to thrive, become fabulously wealthy, and adored by all (including brands who pay $25,000 for a single brand deal) even if they exist outside of prevailing notions of beauty but their white counterparts can?”
a diouana woman
if beauty is an industry, and influencers are just one of its many professionals, this question is one of workplace inequality. a question of income inequality.
but really, it’s just a curious question of who is allowed to simply exist. to be human. to show up as they are, and be financially rewarded for it.
this essay would be helped by real world examples, i am aware. but disclosing the white influencers i feel exist outside of existing prevailing notions of beauty yet continue to make bank off an industry based on beauty would be akin to me commenting on another woman’s body in an adverse way. and why would i do that?
this is not meant to be a question of who is beautiful and who is ugly. but who is allowed to exist simply as they are? sans filler. sans filter. sans beauty that is tethered to the same archetype we know all know as “instagram face.”
who is allowed to make a living within arenas that thrive on the emotional vulnerability of women, as it relates to our physical appearance and resulting status as objects to be admired by both men and women alike, despite not living up to the criteria herein set by this same industry? who is allowed to be a walking paradox? who is allowed to be human?
i believe the answer, just like the problem, is a matter of race. racism to be exact. my current running theory (this is subject to change) is that the audience that makes up the demographic the internet it girls most influence do not share the same parasocial bond with every internet it girl, equally. if at all. and that’s their right. it’s just an interesting result is all.
honoring toni morrison’s sentiment that the chief function of racism is to serve as a distraction, perhaps this whole essay is a moot point.
but i don’t think so.
one’s ability to exist, exactly as they are, is the founding principle of human rights doctrine. if some (ugly) black women cannot exist, and thrive, as influencers within the beauty/fashion space but some (ugly) white women can, that’s an interesting dichotomy for us as consumers, subscribers, and followers to address. or, at the very least, think about.
so, think hard. just don’t think long.
sweet dreams,
a diouana woman
p.s. truth or dare
you know how in your diary, you write something down then rip it out and place it in the tiny makeup bag you keep in your purse as a manifestation method? yeah, these p.s. truth or dares are the digital versions of my little ripped off notes.
truth: creating your own beauty standard.
dare: falling victim to this era’s plastic surgery culture. do not touch your face or bodies babes, there’s nothing wrong with you!!!