easy girls finish first
to win, follow your own rules
the conventional wisdom is to never meet your heroes, lest they disappoint you. as a diouana woman, i’ve taken the approach of becoming my own heroine. interestingly enough, my heroines often take the form of women who embody the narrative thread of the sacred whore.
you’re likely familiar with the madonna-whore complex, so i’ll spare you the details. further, i am not interested in the fact that men, and women, are incapable of always regarding women as complex human beings as i’ve accepted not everyone shares my perspective. alas. what does interest me is what happens when women embody the lessons of the sacred whore as we play the game of life.
one of my favorite films is a rohmer-esque indie number by the name of une fille facile (french for “an easy girl”). it follows an attractive, young woman during her summer tryst in the south of france with a wealthy, attractive benefactor until tragedy strikes (read: he tires of her, so he kicks her out). on the surface, the story reads like those scaremongering tales people hurl at women who are principally concerned with their vanity. however, the plot is much more interesting than that.
viewers who do not understand the film walk away believing the story is about sex. like i did when i first watched it many moons ago. those who do understand the film know that it’s actually speaking on the importance of having a profession and being autonomous in one’s work. those who often catch things few do understand that the true moral of the story is to make one’s own morals. in the immortal words of omar, “a man gots to have a code.”
being an easy girl has little to do with your handling of your sexuality. that’s your business. being an easy girl means you live by your own code, societal pressures be damned. take for instance the recent advertisement from bumble. it can be surmised that those who created the marketing copy thought themselves practitioners of cheeky humor in an attempt to “address a community frustrated by modern dating”1, but they simply alienated women who are living by their own code. my sexuality, my rules. societal pressures be damned.
the mentality of believing you have a right to actually have a say in what happens to and around you has often led to women being labeled as “difficult” at best or “bitchy” at worst. that said, the rumors are true, i am a great american bitch.
there’s a specific type of privilege that comes with standing up for yourself, or even having the ability to do so. there are many among us whose circumstances do not allow for a vocal declaration of their stance. thus, they must conduct a silent protest of living their values via their actions.
carl jung, the spiritual successor of freud and the man who pioneered psychoanalysis in its modern form (what we now know as jungian psychology), researched deeply on the effects of archetypes on one’s psyche. he had an interesting theory called the collective unconscious, by which our unconscious minds operate on pre-existing instincts, developed not by personal experience, but driven by an archetype. say, the sacred whore.
i see this archetype in the main character of une fille facile and in every women that inspires me. those freedom-seeking, glamour-loving women with intellectual sensuality who live by an ethos of accomplishments and results. diouana women who were once easy girls. and what does an easy girl make?
for starters, being an easy girl means you do not allow the opinions of others to affect how you view yourself or how you conduct yourself as you play the game of life. you establish your own code and live by it. societal pressures be damned.
from what i’ve seen, it’s easy girls, who grow up to be diouana women, that finish first in the game of life. so may the best player win.
sweet dreams,
a diouana woman
p.s. truth or dare
i am beginning a new section in my nightly posts titled truth or dare. it’s a simple curated list of ideas and items i’ve engaged with today that i loved and am sharing with you. the truths were 10/10, so i must recommend. and the dares were not so great, so it’s me saying don’t do it. but only if you dare. get it? great. let’s begin:
truth: purple orchids, sustained by love.
dare: not having a daily stretch routine. yoga becomes a must after a certain age.
Bumble. “Bumble on Instagram: ‘A Message to Our Community. 💛.’” Instagram, 16 May 2024, www.instagram.com/p/C67U1nyuZNI/?img_index=3.